At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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