so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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