i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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