That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
