Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
