i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
