I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
