I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
