Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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