she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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