I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Boobs are out for the taking
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
