ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
