So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
