Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
