Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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