Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
