He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
