Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
