As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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