Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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