how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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