I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
