Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
