the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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