sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
