Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
porn star boner night. come get it.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
