My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
