She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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