I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
