Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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