An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
