I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You dont lie about slip and slides
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
