He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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