Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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