I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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