if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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