just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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