Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
