I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
