how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize