Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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