She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
