Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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