Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize