Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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