Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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