Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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