i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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