Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
