Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
