So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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