I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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