Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You dont lie about slip and slides
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
