Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
