if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
