Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
