It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
