Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize