I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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