Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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