brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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