Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
